Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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