Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Who died my cat blue again?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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