Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize