Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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