Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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