you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
this will be a night to untag.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
