my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
