This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
