If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
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