i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
high people should be assigned attendants
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
