just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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