I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
