Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I could fuck to npr.
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