So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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