I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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