She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
