Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
