Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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