It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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