it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
