i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
