Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
