i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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