The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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