we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Someone came in the potted fern
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
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