I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
