DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Randomize
