His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
