i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize