I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
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