PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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