Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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