Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
