Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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