goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
