I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
