Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
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Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
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He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
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