This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
