you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
