i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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