is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize