I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
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It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
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I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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