what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
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I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
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In other news, I just burned my penis
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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