i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Randomize