I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
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I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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