I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize
