do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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