Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
