well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
What happened to fro yo and sex?
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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