but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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