Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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