john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
