Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
