What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Randomize
