when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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