Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize