ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
i now understand why vodka
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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